How to NOT get a Job as Programmer

Old 2 Comments on How to NOT get a Job as Programmer 67

You don’t want to hurt anybody’s feeling when they give you a chance for a job. So we need an alternative way of not getting that career, which might sound simple, but it isn’t. Please don’t take this to literally, as you might enter legal issues, so I strongly recommend thinking before doing any of these recommendations.

Bad Portfolio:
No one likes a bad programmer, so be a bad programmer! Disobey all you learned with OOP and Encapsulation, and throw it all code in one class, all in the main function.  Also, code a bug and put it as the “already compiled” version of the source code. The employer won’t think any of it. Once s/he realizes you put a virus on their own computer, congratulations! You don’t get the position, unless it is the hacking career field.

Bad Reputation:

Now these days, people are whining for loosing jobs for dumb social media post. Lets get cracking shall we? What should we post?

Tweet:
[Company Name] sucks, they gave me #dog food for #lunch. Please #help

Doing that tweet, will definitely not get you a career, but just make sure you don’t have the CIA or Health Inspectors seeing that tweet, understood? Good!
Maybe you should upload a video of you being wasted as well, no company wants that type of person representing them.

“Edward Snowden” Technique:

This is a good way to possibly be arrested as well, but it is simple at first. What you have to do is make up any rumor about any organization that is well know, weather the rumor is good or bad and run to Russia to disappear.  This technique could risk your life, but it is an option to consider.

 

Those are 3 options to keep in mind if you do not want a job as a programmer. Thank you for reading, hope you had a laugh!

Author

Katy Pillman

Katy Pillman is the Lead Programmer for Tactician Studios LLC. She is young, but experienced in the technical field, and writes in her free-time. △ ◎ × □

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2 Comments

  1. William Oneb July 1, 2014 at 11:34 am

    I wouldn’t attempt that 😀

  2. Ivan Ahmed July 17, 2014 at 7:39 am

    The last one was interesting.. I live in Sweden, so I’m not that far away from Putin & co..

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